Morning of August 19, 2009

Dreaming's been slow lately. I skipped a night of sleep and have been trying to sort out my schedule, since. I'm only getting bits and pieces, now.

Since I've got your attention, though, *yeah, right!* I thought I'd blather on about an encounter I had, today. I've been doing research, lately, and I share a lab with a fellow researcher. He was working on something intended for psychological profiling... well, it's really a lot more specific than that, but I'd prefer to keep this pretty general. Anyway, we start talking about ways to use his technique and interesting problems to pose to the subjects. Most of them are harmless enough.

Eventually, I get the idea to do a study on an ethical dilemma problem with his technique. He looks a little confused and asks what I mean. I start to explain the Prisoner's Dilemma. He doesn't understand how it relates to ethics at all. I explain my understanding of ethics. Basically, I believe the study of ethics is the study of "right and wrong". He agrees with me so far. I say that I determine what's right and wrong by what benefits or detracts from society and the individual. He disagrees. He believes right and wrong are a strict set of rules, and he has no means of evaluating them. At this point, he doesn't really want to continue the conversation. He basically says, "Everything you said was bullshit, and I'm going to just leave it at that." Unsatisfied, I press him for a final argument. I'm totally willing to accept a final argument, but to simply say that he thinks I'm totally wrong, but he won't talk any more, is unacceptable to me.

Well, I'm totally not being argumentative or negative or anything. I'm just trying to get something other than "you suck" out of him. He accuses me of being purposefully antagonistic. I guess I can see how he'd say that, but I certainly wasn't. After that, he gets very upset, grabs his bag, and leaves the office. I was quite taken aback. Why can't two intelligent human beings have a rational discussion on ethics? In fact, it wasn't really intended to be a discussion on ethics. I was really just trying to describe how an ethical study would work. I wasn't trying to convince him of anything. The only thing I can think is that he started to realize that his "fore-ordained book of rules" is kinda crap and that he really didn't understand the intricacies of the motivation behind ethics in the first place. I would probably get kind of upset if I were in that position, too.

I just wish that people would be rational. Be able to argue for your views. Be able to understand why you don't believe others' views. Be willing to look at a problem from two (or more) sides before declaring what the answer is. Most problems have more than two sides. No problem exists that only has one side. If you can't explain or recognize at least two sides to an arbitrary problem, you are not doing your job as a decent human being.

This also makes me think of the times I've totally pissed people off before. I don't know how often normal people piss each other off, especially in deep discussions, but it seems like I do it a lot. I'm totally not an asshole, though. I try not to come across as arrogant or dismissive. I listen to what they say, and I respond to what they say, not what I want to say. I never get upset or emotional. Most of my conversation consists of questions. I'd like to learn from others, not be the "ultimate dispenser of knowledge". I like to meet smarter people than I, and I very much enjoy learning new things. I don't mind being wrong. If I'm wrong about something, I am made a better person by being corrected. Yet, still, I end up pissing people off. I actually find myself avoiding social contact, because I know it has a high probability of ending poorly. I don't think I'm an antisocial bastard. I like going out drinking with my friends. I don't like crowds, though. I always try to be friendly and pleasant. It seems like, the better person I become, the less I am liked. I'm not trying to say I'm an "amazing" person, but I'd like to think I'm a better man now than I was back in my teenage years, when I had better friendships.

Then again, I am an intellectual and a skeptic. Almost everyone I meet is neither. I shouldn't be that surprised that I rub almost all people the wrong way, should I?