This morning, I dreamed that I was staying at my aunt's house. Well, my uncle, too. He hasn't been my uncle as long as she's been my aunt, so I think of her more as my aunt than I do of him as my uncle. Anyway, the extended family on my mom's side is staying there for a bit. There's some other people, too, but it's mostly a family gathering. We spend most of our time in the living room chatting. I'm not much of a chatter, so I just listen to the other people mostly. My female cousin, who's around my age, brings two really cute girls with her. They look like twins. Everyone is ooh-ing and ahh-ing over them. Girls tend to ignore me, though, so I tend to ignore them, too. Eventually, I think they try to start up a conversation with me, but I forget what they asked. I was surprised they wanted to talk to me, though. They seemed rather serious; not just chatty.
Sometime that evening, someone brought out a family pet, some kind of large mouse. The pet was curled into a little half-hemisphere just perfectly. We let him out and held him and such. He seemed friendly and wasn't likely to run off. Eventually, it was time to go to sleep, so I had to put him back in his cage. I was holding him without the hemisphere to take him to his cage. He saw that I was going to put him in his cage, so he latched onto my arm, and I couldn't get him off. I went to my aunt to ask how to get him in the cage. She was a little upset with him and decided to pour salt water on his head to straighten him out. I made sure to put him in his hemisphere, now, so he couldn't as easily latch onto me. This worked, but as I was straightening out the lid, he jumped up to the gap between the lid and the side wall of the cage. I had to poke him back and then latched the lid in place.
Later, I was kind of looking for something to do. I guess I didn't want to sleep. My aunt told me I should go into the media room. There were a lot of people in there, probably hundreds. The room was set up like a lecture hall. There were lots of computer equipment and electronics spread out along the outside of the room. My favorite undergraduate professor saw me and started showing me around. I mentioned something about wishing I had all this equipment, since it would make my research go faster. My uncle told me to take a closer look at the machines. They were horribly old, probably fifteen years or so. I chuckled a little and said something about how cheap each one probably was. He told me I should go watch the movie. It wasn't a command or anything, though, just a suggestion. The movie was Ghostbusters. I go down to a seat, but the screen is too far away. I try to move closer, and the screen is too much at an angle. It's the end of the movie anyway, though, so I don't worry about it too much. It's playing on the larger lcd screen I've ever seen. It's as big as a small movie theater screen, and would probably have cost tens of thousands of dollars, if not more.
Later, I decide to order some cheap computers so I can play around with them. I open them up and find that the memory chip is really loose, so I put it back in. There also is no hard drive or cd drive.
I'm kind of surprised nothing came of the two girls. Normally, a character such as they will end up being my love interest. Of course, that doesn't appear to be the intention of the dream, this time. The final topic was technology. It seems like everybody else was concerned with watching the movie, whereas I was interested in the machines, themselves. This is probably pretty normal, in my experience. Most people like technology for what it can do. I like it for what it is and how it works. That may be one reason that I could never get my "perspective" right for the movie.
I think the mouse-like creature symbolized myself, somehow. I can't really explain how this is, though.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Morning of August 23, 2009
I finally got some memorable dreaming done, today, one of which seemed to contain a profound truth that I haven't realized before. It's kind of funny how trivial certain components of dreams can be, but how important their meaning can be.
The first dream had to do with warhammer online. I've recently started playing it. It's pretty fun, as long as you can find a good rvr group. Anyway, I was in an rvr group, playing as an orc or something. I'm looking at my abilities, and one of them is called "get dumb!". Literally, become less intelligent. I think the idea behind the ability was to just keep repeating whatever move you just did. That got me thinking about humanity. Weird, right? I know! Anyway, it occurred to me that humanity has progressed as far as it has by recording information, whether by written or spoken word. The progression of the human species depends, above all else, on recording new knowledge, through each generation. Anyone who does not contribute to humanity's pool of knowledge is not doing their duty to mankind. They are simply sucking up whatever resources existed or were created during their lifetime. Science is the key to the future, progress, survival, and happiness.
The second dream didn't seem quite so profound, unfortunately. I'm standing in the kitchen of a house, folding clothes. A friend (well, not a close friend) is standing in the living room watching tv. While he's standing there, he looks up into the skylight and sees a ufo. He becomes entranced by it. I've seen this happen before, and I warn him that he shouldn't be doing that. I think it's happened to me, and nothing good came from it. He says that he can make his own decisions, and I leave it at that. I feel kind of sad, though. I know what's going to happen to him. I finish my laundry and go into the living room to read a book, but I lay on the couch facing away from the skylight. I know the aliens can see me, and that's probably not good, but it's not a big deal compared to becoming entranced by them.
This dream probably is a reflection of my views on general humanity. They like tv. I don't. I like books. They don't. They look for salvation through something or someone "out there". I find my own purpose. They become entranced by metaphysical things which only serve to reduce their capacity to serve humanity. I don't have a high opinion of humanity, do I? Well, I certainly do have a high level of affection for humanity. I can't understand their choices, but they are theirs alone to make, and I can't interfere. Sometimes, I wish I could, though.
The first dream had to do with warhammer online. I've recently started playing it. It's pretty fun, as long as you can find a good rvr group. Anyway, I was in an rvr group, playing as an orc or something. I'm looking at my abilities, and one of them is called "get dumb!". Literally, become less intelligent. I think the idea behind the ability was to just keep repeating whatever move you just did. That got me thinking about humanity. Weird, right? I know! Anyway, it occurred to me that humanity has progressed as far as it has by recording information, whether by written or spoken word. The progression of the human species depends, above all else, on recording new knowledge, through each generation. Anyone who does not contribute to humanity's pool of knowledge is not doing their duty to mankind. They are simply sucking up whatever resources existed or were created during their lifetime. Science is the key to the future, progress, survival, and happiness.
The second dream didn't seem quite so profound, unfortunately. I'm standing in the kitchen of a house, folding clothes. A friend (well, not a close friend) is standing in the living room watching tv. While he's standing there, he looks up into the skylight and sees a ufo. He becomes entranced by it. I've seen this happen before, and I warn him that he shouldn't be doing that. I think it's happened to me, and nothing good came from it. He says that he can make his own decisions, and I leave it at that. I feel kind of sad, though. I know what's going to happen to him. I finish my laundry and go into the living room to read a book, but I lay on the couch facing away from the skylight. I know the aliens can see me, and that's probably not good, but it's not a big deal compared to becoming entranced by them.
This dream probably is a reflection of my views on general humanity. They like tv. I don't. I like books. They don't. They look for salvation through something or someone "out there". I find my own purpose. They become entranced by metaphysical things which only serve to reduce their capacity to serve humanity. I don't have a high opinion of humanity, do I? Well, I certainly do have a high level of affection for humanity. I can't understand their choices, but they are theirs alone to make, and I can't interfere. Sometimes, I wish I could, though.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Morning of August 19, 2009
Dreaming's been slow lately. I skipped a night of sleep and have been trying to sort out my schedule, since. I'm only getting bits and pieces, now.
Since I've got your attention, though, *yeah, right!* I thought I'd blather on about an encounter I had, today. I've been doing research, lately, and I share a lab with a fellow researcher. He was working on something intended for psychological profiling... well, it's really a lot more specific than that, but I'd prefer to keep this pretty general. Anyway, we start talking about ways to use his technique and interesting problems to pose to the subjects. Most of them are harmless enough.
Eventually, I get the idea to do a study on an ethical dilemma problem with his technique. He looks a little confused and asks what I mean. I start to explain the Prisoner's Dilemma. He doesn't understand how it relates to ethics at all. I explain my understanding of ethics. Basically, I believe the study of ethics is the study of "right and wrong". He agrees with me so far. I say that I determine what's right and wrong by what benefits or detracts from society and the individual. He disagrees. He believes right and wrong are a strict set of rules, and he has no means of evaluating them. At this point, he doesn't really want to continue the conversation. He basically says, "Everything you said was bullshit, and I'm going to just leave it at that." Unsatisfied, I press him for a final argument. I'm totally willing to accept a final argument, but to simply say that he thinks I'm totally wrong, but he won't talk any more, is unacceptable to me.
Well, I'm totally not being argumentative or negative or anything. I'm just trying to get something other than "you suck" out of him. He accuses me of being purposefully antagonistic. I guess I can see how he'd say that, but I certainly wasn't. After that, he gets very upset, grabs his bag, and leaves the office. I was quite taken aback. Why can't two intelligent human beings have a rational discussion on ethics? In fact, it wasn't really intended to be a discussion on ethics. I was really just trying to describe how an ethical study would work. I wasn't trying to convince him of anything. The only thing I can think is that he started to realize that his "fore-ordained book of rules" is kinda crap and that he really didn't understand the intricacies of the motivation behind ethics in the first place. I would probably get kind of upset if I were in that position, too.
I just wish that people would be rational. Be able to argue for your views. Be able to understand why you don't believe others' views. Be willing to look at a problem from two (or more) sides before declaring what the answer is. Most problems have more than two sides. No problem exists that only has one side. If you can't explain or recognize at least two sides to an arbitrary problem, you are not doing your job as a decent human being.
This also makes me think of the times I've totally pissed people off before. I don't know how often normal people piss each other off, especially in deep discussions, but it seems like I do it a lot. I'm totally not an asshole, though. I try not to come across as arrogant or dismissive. I listen to what they say, and I respond to what they say, not what I want to say. I never get upset or emotional. Most of my conversation consists of questions. I'd like to learn from others, not be the "ultimate dispenser of knowledge". I like to meet smarter people than I, and I very much enjoy learning new things. I don't mind being wrong. If I'm wrong about something, I am made a better person by being corrected. Yet, still, I end up pissing people off. I actually find myself avoiding social contact, because I know it has a high probability of ending poorly. I don't think I'm an antisocial bastard. I like going out drinking with my friends. I don't like crowds, though. I always try to be friendly and pleasant. It seems like, the better person I become, the less I am liked. I'm not trying to say I'm an "amazing" person, but I'd like to think I'm a better man now than I was back in my teenage years, when I had better friendships.
Then again, I am an intellectual and a skeptic. Almost everyone I meet is neither. I shouldn't be that surprised that I rub almost all people the wrong way, should I?
Since I've got your attention, though, *yeah, right!* I thought I'd blather on about an encounter I had, today. I've been doing research, lately, and I share a lab with a fellow researcher. He was working on something intended for psychological profiling... well, it's really a lot more specific than that, but I'd prefer to keep this pretty general. Anyway, we start talking about ways to use his technique and interesting problems to pose to the subjects. Most of them are harmless enough.
Eventually, I get the idea to do a study on an ethical dilemma problem with his technique. He looks a little confused and asks what I mean. I start to explain the Prisoner's Dilemma. He doesn't understand how it relates to ethics at all. I explain my understanding of ethics. Basically, I believe the study of ethics is the study of "right and wrong". He agrees with me so far. I say that I determine what's right and wrong by what benefits or detracts from society and the individual. He disagrees. He believes right and wrong are a strict set of rules, and he has no means of evaluating them. At this point, he doesn't really want to continue the conversation. He basically says, "Everything you said was bullshit, and I'm going to just leave it at that." Unsatisfied, I press him for a final argument. I'm totally willing to accept a final argument, but to simply say that he thinks I'm totally wrong, but he won't talk any more, is unacceptable to me.
Well, I'm totally not being argumentative or negative or anything. I'm just trying to get something other than "you suck" out of him. He accuses me of being purposefully antagonistic. I guess I can see how he'd say that, but I certainly wasn't. After that, he gets very upset, grabs his bag, and leaves the office. I was quite taken aback. Why can't two intelligent human beings have a rational discussion on ethics? In fact, it wasn't really intended to be a discussion on ethics. I was really just trying to describe how an ethical study would work. I wasn't trying to convince him of anything. The only thing I can think is that he started to realize that his "fore-ordained book of rules" is kinda crap and that he really didn't understand the intricacies of the motivation behind ethics in the first place. I would probably get kind of upset if I were in that position, too.
I just wish that people would be rational. Be able to argue for your views. Be able to understand why you don't believe others' views. Be willing to look at a problem from two (or more) sides before declaring what the answer is. Most problems have more than two sides. No problem exists that only has one side. If you can't explain or recognize at least two sides to an arbitrary problem, you are not doing your job as a decent human being.
This also makes me think of the times I've totally pissed people off before. I don't know how often normal people piss each other off, especially in deep discussions, but it seems like I do it a lot. I'm totally not an asshole, though. I try not to come across as arrogant or dismissive. I listen to what they say, and I respond to what they say, not what I want to say. I never get upset or emotional. Most of my conversation consists of questions. I'd like to learn from others, not be the "ultimate dispenser of knowledge". I like to meet smarter people than I, and I very much enjoy learning new things. I don't mind being wrong. If I'm wrong about something, I am made a better person by being corrected. Yet, still, I end up pissing people off. I actually find myself avoiding social contact, because I know it has a high probability of ending poorly. I don't think I'm an antisocial bastard. I like going out drinking with my friends. I don't like crowds, though. I always try to be friendly and pleasant. It seems like, the better person I become, the less I am liked. I'm not trying to say I'm an "amazing" person, but I'd like to think I'm a better man now than I was back in my teenage years, when I had better friendships.
Then again, I am an intellectual and a skeptic. Almost everyone I meet is neither. I shouldn't be that surprised that I rub almost all people the wrong way, should I?
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Morning of August 15, 2009
The first dream had to do with the head of my department. Lots of fuzzy, indescribable things were happening. I walked to his office and saw that all his stuff was packed up. I thought to myself, "I wonder if he has any books that he doesn't want to move that I could have." So, I walked in and found him sitting cross-legged on the floor, looking off into the distance. I asked him if he was leaving us, and he told me that his contract was only for one year. He was in good humor about this. I had the impression that he was the one who decided to leave. He acted kind of sad, then, and told me he was afraid what would happen after a failed stint here. I told him that I thought his resume was fine enough, even with this one year. Couldn't he find a job with a company, instead of a university, for a while? Isn't there something he'd always kind of wanted to work on in industry? He seemed a little uplifted by that, so I left.
(shift)
I was laying on my bed in my room that I lived in back in the later elementary school years. I think I might have been playing with myself a little. I wasn't trying to get off, just idle hands... Anyway, there are some people I know driving this very, very old red convertible car around my back yard. There was a house behind our house, and a little driveway that led back to it, and they were driving along that, back and forth. At one point, they saw me watching and smiled at me. I guess some other people were wandering around outside, because a group of three or so saw me and made as if they would like to come talk to me.
So, I guess they got in the front door and then into my room. They were saying comforting things like, "it's ok" and things like that. One of the women, a plain-looking woman about forty, decided she wanted to jack me off. I think they wanted my seed for something. Well, she tells me what she's going to start doing, and fucked if I didn't mind that at all! Then, everything shifted. Why does it always do that when something good is about to happen?
Later, I go to school and enter my office. There's only one or two people there. It was my first office. I guess they had started moving people out of it. Eventually, some of the people that were in my room earlier came in and told us they needed to count the money. We never kept money in the office in reality, but there was this safe, and they opened it and started counting. Then it was a blur for a bit. Eventually, I find myself back in the office, and all the money's gone. Well, it's not my money, so I don't care too much, but it reminds me of the head of the department leaving. Maybe they're related? He's certainly not leaving in real life, though.
This last dream is just an image. I think I crawled out of a manhole type thing. I don't think it was a sewage or drainage pipe. It was just an underground storage area or something. Maybe it was attached to my college? Anyway, there is a scene spread out before me. Imagine a bay area, with flat buildings and cars and such, and a towering mountain along the side of the bay, but not in the water. I was about a third the height of the mountain, though, so everything was small and flat. I didn't feel incredibly large in my dream, though.
It seemed like just another kind of "cluttered imagery". I see clutter a lot in my dreams; just stuff lying around that seems like filler. None of it is dirty or really out of place. It's not really messy, it's just that I guess my mind needs to fill in the gaps with something interesting. Maybe my waking life is so spartan that my subconscious is frustrated by it. Maybe I should invest in some artwork or some such rubbish to decorate my space. Eh, maybe it means nothing at all.
(shift)
I was laying on my bed in my room that I lived in back in the later elementary school years. I think I might have been playing with myself a little. I wasn't trying to get off, just idle hands... Anyway, there are some people I know driving this very, very old red convertible car around my back yard. There was a house behind our house, and a little driveway that led back to it, and they were driving along that, back and forth. At one point, they saw me watching and smiled at me. I guess some other people were wandering around outside, because a group of three or so saw me and made as if they would like to come talk to me.
So, I guess they got in the front door and then into my room. They were saying comforting things like, "it's ok" and things like that. One of the women, a plain-looking woman about forty, decided she wanted to jack me off. I think they wanted my seed for something. Well, she tells me what she's going to start doing, and fucked if I didn't mind that at all! Then, everything shifted. Why does it always do that when something good is about to happen?
Later, I go to school and enter my office. There's only one or two people there. It was my first office. I guess they had started moving people out of it. Eventually, some of the people that were in my room earlier came in and told us they needed to count the money. We never kept money in the office in reality, but there was this safe, and they opened it and started counting. Then it was a blur for a bit. Eventually, I find myself back in the office, and all the money's gone. Well, it's not my money, so I don't care too much, but it reminds me of the head of the department leaving. Maybe they're related? He's certainly not leaving in real life, though.
This last dream is just an image. I think I crawled out of a manhole type thing. I don't think it was a sewage or drainage pipe. It was just an underground storage area or something. Maybe it was attached to my college? Anyway, there is a scene spread out before me. Imagine a bay area, with flat buildings and cars and such, and a towering mountain along the side of the bay, but not in the water. I was about a third the height of the mountain, though, so everything was small and flat. I didn't feel incredibly large in my dream, though.
It seemed like just another kind of "cluttered imagery". I see clutter a lot in my dreams; just stuff lying around that seems like filler. None of it is dirty or really out of place. It's not really messy, it's just that I guess my mind needs to fill in the gaps with something interesting. Maybe my waking life is so spartan that my subconscious is frustrated by it. Maybe I should invest in some artwork or some such rubbish to decorate my space. Eh, maybe it means nothing at all.
Recent dreams to August 14, 2009
These are going to be fairly short. I'm just writing them to get the juices flowing. Most of them occurred a while ago, and so are very fragmented. I've noticed that most of them have to do with the theme of "my living space". I don't know if that's just because I spend so much of my time in my home, or if there's something important there, or what.
The first dream is quite short. It's basically just an image. It's an image of the place I had my first internship. It was the first time I lived with a girl, though in a non-romantic capacity. There was either a sunrise or a sunset. I'm inclined to believe it was a sunset, but I think it represented a sunrise, better. It had the feeling of great possibility and future and happiness. My house was quite small and short. The inside was gray, but not depressing. It was just contrasted with the beauty of the sunrise. Interestingly, one of my friends just got a job in that same place. I guess it's just on my mind. I think he's going to do well. I don't know if I'd want to work there again, but I certainly experienced a lot of new things, there.
This second dream is a little more animated, though not much. It's around twilight, and there's a social gathering going on around my first apartment. Well, it doesn't look at all like my first apartment, but that's what it represents. Anyway, I don't really want to call it a party. There are people, and they're chatting and getting ready to start drinking. My high-school algebra teacher is there, just as another college student. She's really fairly close to my age. She's not particularly attractive, but she has a nice body and her curly red hair and glasses are good, too. Well, I leave the apartment to go wandering around the complex. I don't think I'm going anywhere specific, just "away". I'm not really trying to get away from people, just from that number of people. I tend to like small groups of people in real life, too. Three or four is about perfect. Less than that is a bit awkward/boring, and more than that and I start to get shy.
This last part is kind of a conglomeration of multiple, similar dreams. Well, they're not THAT similar, they just kind of "feel" the same. All of them are about interesting college houses. One of them is a house that feels like a stage set. Things are always being built. Additions are being made. There is a hole in a wall that has a huge balloon behind it... on the inside of the house. A similar house consists of multiple levels, but it is very narrow. The stairs almost take up the entire living area. There is only really enough room to sleep, but on the top floor, there are sleeping bags jammed in everywhere possible. It is completely plain wood. No plastic, metal, or even paint. Very spartan.
Another of the houses feels like a very large, very luxurious frat house. The bedrooms are huge, and there are multiple beds in each room. Each room has an exorbitant amount of "stuff" in them, but they are all tidy and attractive. I think I may have been kicked out, for some unspecified reason, and had to move into a "cabin" kind of temporary housing facility. There were two rows of bunks, with an aisle in the middle. A lot of my stuff was stored in a shared closet, and some of the other people were complaining about it. I guess they were actually living there, while I was passing through. It felt kind of like a prison, though.
The final house was the most interesting. I actually had adventures in the basement. This was no ordinary basement, though. There were bottomless chasms and spikes that came out of the walls and such. It certainly wasn't frightening. In fact, I've never actually had a nightmare. If I have, the memory has been totally repressed. I don't think I've ever woken up feeling scared at all. I've woken up feeling disappointed. "Shit, I was just about fuck that girl!" But, nothing frightening. Well, most of the time, we just did practice runs in the basement. We never went as far as the "dungeon" actually goes. One day, though, we did decide to go to the end. I think we found a guy and tried to make our way out. We got to the beginning, but that's where the dream stops. I guess I got bored. :P
I may try to discuss the symbolism later. It's quite late for me, though. I'll try to dredge up some new material tomorrow morning. ;) Oh, wait, I guess it's "today" morning. God, it's late.
The first dream is quite short. It's basically just an image. It's an image of the place I had my first internship. It was the first time I lived with a girl, though in a non-romantic capacity. There was either a sunrise or a sunset. I'm inclined to believe it was a sunset, but I think it represented a sunrise, better. It had the feeling of great possibility and future and happiness. My house was quite small and short. The inside was gray, but not depressing. It was just contrasted with the beauty of the sunrise. Interestingly, one of my friends just got a job in that same place. I guess it's just on my mind. I think he's going to do well. I don't know if I'd want to work there again, but I certainly experienced a lot of new things, there.
This second dream is a little more animated, though not much. It's around twilight, and there's a social gathering going on around my first apartment. Well, it doesn't look at all like my first apartment, but that's what it represents. Anyway, I don't really want to call it a party. There are people, and they're chatting and getting ready to start drinking. My high-school algebra teacher is there, just as another college student. She's really fairly close to my age. She's not particularly attractive, but she has a nice body and her curly red hair and glasses are good, too. Well, I leave the apartment to go wandering around the complex. I don't think I'm going anywhere specific, just "away". I'm not really trying to get away from people, just from that number of people. I tend to like small groups of people in real life, too. Three or four is about perfect. Less than that is a bit awkward/boring, and more than that and I start to get shy.
This last part is kind of a conglomeration of multiple, similar dreams. Well, they're not THAT similar, they just kind of "feel" the same. All of them are about interesting college houses. One of them is a house that feels like a stage set. Things are always being built. Additions are being made. There is a hole in a wall that has a huge balloon behind it... on the inside of the house. A similar house consists of multiple levels, but it is very narrow. The stairs almost take up the entire living area. There is only really enough room to sleep, but on the top floor, there are sleeping bags jammed in everywhere possible. It is completely plain wood. No plastic, metal, or even paint. Very spartan.
Another of the houses feels like a very large, very luxurious frat house. The bedrooms are huge, and there are multiple beds in each room. Each room has an exorbitant amount of "stuff" in them, but they are all tidy and attractive. I think I may have been kicked out, for some unspecified reason, and had to move into a "cabin" kind of temporary housing facility. There were two rows of bunks, with an aisle in the middle. A lot of my stuff was stored in a shared closet, and some of the other people were complaining about it. I guess they were actually living there, while I was passing through. It felt kind of like a prison, though.
The final house was the most interesting. I actually had adventures in the basement. This was no ordinary basement, though. There were bottomless chasms and spikes that came out of the walls and such. It certainly wasn't frightening. In fact, I've never actually had a nightmare. If I have, the memory has been totally repressed. I don't think I've ever woken up feeling scared at all. I've woken up feeling disappointed. "Shit, I was just about fuck that girl!" But, nothing frightening. Well, most of the time, we just did practice runs in the basement. We never went as far as the "dungeon" actually goes. One day, though, we did decide to go to the end. I think we found a guy and tried to make our way out. We got to the beginning, but that's where the dream stops. I guess I got bored. :P
I may try to discuss the symbolism later. It's quite late for me, though. I'll try to dredge up some new material tomorrow morning. ;) Oh, wait, I guess it's "today" morning. God, it's late.
Morning of August 14, 2009
I think I read somewhere that most of your dreaming happens in the very end of your sleep, so I'll label these posts by the morning I wake up. I also rarely ever get to bed before midnight, so there ya go. ;)
Okay, this morning I had some pretty cool dreams, from my point of view. I also remembered some other dreams that I either had a few weeks back or that I just had this morning and it feels like I had them a while ago. I can never really tell. This morning's dreams had some pretty profound imagery to me. The imagery seems really trivial, but I think there's a deep meaning, as you'll see.
The main component of my dream began in the living room of a large, darkened house. It's not my house, or any house I've been in before, but it's my parent's house in my dream. It reminds me of a house my family lived in during junior high, though... quite a bit different, though.
I think there was some faint glow, like a small fire, but there wasn't actually a fire. It was just mood lighting, I guess. :) I am cuddling up with a cute girl on the couch, under a blanket. She's the prototypical my-kind-of-girl. She's got curly blond hair and glasses. God, I love curly blond hair and glasses. Anyway, we're cuddling a little, and my mom happens to step out of the master bedroom and sees us. She whispers something to my dad, and he steps out, sees us, and whispers something back to her. I tell this girl (why don't they ever have names?) that we better probably go upstairs.
(shift)
I'm coming down the stairs from the bedroom. I suddenly hear music start on the computer. I think, "Crap! That's going to wake up my parents and I'm going to get in trouble!" So, I rush down the stairs and madly try to hit the stop button. There's some kind of artwork on the screen, like a painting of a big, gray, flat kind of fortress, set in the bottom of a cliff wall made of red rock. The music turns off, and I turn to go, but it turns back on and run back to turn it off again. Now, this guy I knew a long time ago who's now a musician in a pretty good band is at the computer trying to turn it off, too. Apparently, he's better at turning off the music than I am, so it works for him.
I just realized that I identify with this fellow a lot more than I realized. For one thing, while I was typing the last sentence of the last paragraph, I accidentally typed "me" instead of "him" as the last word. I've always respected him. He was intelligent, talented, and always had interesting things to say. I've often thought that it's unfortunate that I was better friends with his older brother than him, because I've actually got more in common with him. His brother turned out to be no good friend at all, but hey, are there ANY teenagers who turn out to be good friends? Anyway, I think he symbolizes a side of me that I subconsciously respect and trust more than my conscious self-perception.
(shift)
Getting back to the girls... Well, me and the blond chick start heading up to the bedroom. We see this cute little brunette alternative-looking chick on the way up. "Yeah, I meet hot chicks inside my own house all the time. Don't you?" >.< Anyway, this brunette starts coming upstairs with us. It's no big deal, though. There are other people upstairs. We're just getting away from the 'rents.
So, she gets to the top of the stairs and says, "I can't come inside. I really need coffee grounds." I tell her that we can get her coffee grounds, and that she should totally come inside with us. I totally have no idea how we would have come up with some coffee grounds, though. There are around five or six guys and girls inside the room, upstairs. It's actually quite empty, and the people are sitting on the floor. They're my friends, though I couldn't name a one of them. There are some various items strewn around the room... to add character, I guess.
Anyway, she seems to respond well to my suggestion, but she still seems a little wary. I think she's a little shy. I don't know why this stood out, but she was wearing a black, shear spaghetti strap top, and one of the straps had fallen down. She was wearing something else underneath, so it wasn't revealing, but it sure was goddamn cute.
Okay, a little about symbolism. I think the biggest symbolism in the previous couple paragraphs was the coffee grounds. I don't like coffee, myself, but I sure like the smell of coffee grounds. I think she kind of symbolizes another aspect of myself. She wants to be with other people, but she has other needs that she feels are more important. Coffee grounds, I think, symbolize social interactions. I've recently read up a bit on Asperger's Syndrome. Sounds scary, right? One youtube video I watched said that this condition can demonstrate itself especially well in one way: they greatly desire close friendships, but they lack the understanding of how to develop them.
Well, there's probably no better way to describe my life than by that last sentence. Does that mean I have that condition? I have no idea, but it's made me think about things a little differently than before. For instance, I've always been a bit bewildered by some people's ease of friendships and social interactions. They totally don't make any sense to me. Why should one person who acts like an ass have a ton of friends, and me acting like a rational human being has (what feels like) none? Well, Asperger's basically says that, if you have this condition, you don't understand non-verbal social interactions. I've heard it said that 90% of communication is non-verbal. I can get that. It makes sense to me. I just don't see it. So, it also makes sense to me why I don't connect with people that CAN see it. I just wasn't wired that way. They're expecting me to communicate with them on a level that I don't even know exists. And, being that way for so long, I don't know if I'd want it differently. I have a different perspective on "normal people" than others do.
Well, that's a bit of a long post, so I'll break up the rest of my ramblings for the next post. If you see any part of this post that you're curious about, I'd be more than happy to ramble about it for you. The next post will be dreams that felt like they happened before today, but you can never be too sure with these things, now can you? :)
Okay, this morning I had some pretty cool dreams, from my point of view. I also remembered some other dreams that I either had a few weeks back or that I just had this morning and it feels like I had them a while ago. I can never really tell. This morning's dreams had some pretty profound imagery to me. The imagery seems really trivial, but I think there's a deep meaning, as you'll see.
The main component of my dream began in the living room of a large, darkened house. It's not my house, or any house I've been in before, but it's my parent's house in my dream. It reminds me of a house my family lived in during junior high, though... quite a bit different, though.
I think there was some faint glow, like a small fire, but there wasn't actually a fire. It was just mood lighting, I guess. :) I am cuddling up with a cute girl on the couch, under a blanket. She's the prototypical my-kind-of-girl. She's got curly blond hair and glasses. God, I love curly blond hair and glasses. Anyway, we're cuddling a little, and my mom happens to step out of the master bedroom and sees us. She whispers something to my dad, and he steps out, sees us, and whispers something back to her. I tell this girl (why don't they ever have names?) that we better probably go upstairs.
(shift)
I'm coming down the stairs from the bedroom. I suddenly hear music start on the computer. I think, "Crap! That's going to wake up my parents and I'm going to get in trouble!" So, I rush down the stairs and madly try to hit the stop button. There's some kind of artwork on the screen, like a painting of a big, gray, flat kind of fortress, set in the bottom of a cliff wall made of red rock. The music turns off, and I turn to go, but it turns back on and run back to turn it off again. Now, this guy I knew a long time ago who's now a musician in a pretty good band is at the computer trying to turn it off, too. Apparently, he's better at turning off the music than I am, so it works for him.
I just realized that I identify with this fellow a lot more than I realized. For one thing, while I was typing the last sentence of the last paragraph, I accidentally typed "me" instead of "him" as the last word. I've always respected him. He was intelligent, talented, and always had interesting things to say. I've often thought that it's unfortunate that I was better friends with his older brother than him, because I've actually got more in common with him. His brother turned out to be no good friend at all, but hey, are there ANY teenagers who turn out to be good friends? Anyway, I think he symbolizes a side of me that I subconsciously respect and trust more than my conscious self-perception.
(shift)
Getting back to the girls... Well, me and the blond chick start heading up to the bedroom. We see this cute little brunette alternative-looking chick on the way up. "Yeah, I meet hot chicks inside my own house all the time. Don't you?" >.< Anyway, this brunette starts coming upstairs with us. It's no big deal, though. There are other people upstairs. We're just getting away from the 'rents.
So, she gets to the top of the stairs and says, "I can't come inside. I really need coffee grounds." I tell her that we can get her coffee grounds, and that she should totally come inside with us. I totally have no idea how we would have come up with some coffee grounds, though. There are around five or six guys and girls inside the room, upstairs. It's actually quite empty, and the people are sitting on the floor. They're my friends, though I couldn't name a one of them. There are some various items strewn around the room... to add character, I guess.
Anyway, she seems to respond well to my suggestion, but she still seems a little wary. I think she's a little shy. I don't know why this stood out, but she was wearing a black, shear spaghetti strap top, and one of the straps had fallen down. She was wearing something else underneath, so it wasn't revealing, but it sure was goddamn cute.
Okay, a little about symbolism. I think the biggest symbolism in the previous couple paragraphs was the coffee grounds. I don't like coffee, myself, but I sure like the smell of coffee grounds. I think she kind of symbolizes another aspect of myself. She wants to be with other people, but she has other needs that she feels are more important. Coffee grounds, I think, symbolize social interactions. I've recently read up a bit on Asperger's Syndrome. Sounds scary, right? One youtube video I watched said that this condition can demonstrate itself especially well in one way: they greatly desire close friendships, but they lack the understanding of how to develop them.
Well, there's probably no better way to describe my life than by that last sentence. Does that mean I have that condition? I have no idea, but it's made me think about things a little differently than before. For instance, I've always been a bit bewildered by some people's ease of friendships and social interactions. They totally don't make any sense to me. Why should one person who acts like an ass have a ton of friends, and me acting like a rational human being has (what feels like) none? Well, Asperger's basically says that, if you have this condition, you don't understand non-verbal social interactions. I've heard it said that 90% of communication is non-verbal. I can get that. It makes sense to me. I just don't see it. So, it also makes sense to me why I don't connect with people that CAN see it. I just wasn't wired that way. They're expecting me to communicate with them on a level that I don't even know exists. And, being that way for so long, I don't know if I'd want it differently. I have a different perspective on "normal people" than others do.
Well, that's a bit of a long post, so I'll break up the rest of my ramblings for the next post. If you see any part of this post that you're curious about, I'd be more than happy to ramble about it for you. The next post will be dreams that felt like they happened before today, but you can never be too sure with these things, now can you? :)
Introduction to my blog
This blog is intended to be a sort of "dream journal". I used to keep one a long time ago, when I was much younger. My dreams are not amazing, nor very intriguing. They do not tell great stories, and they very rarely feature hawt secks. Most of them consist of fragments of imagery. They are, however, often more interesting to me than my real life. They also give me a chance to examine my emotional state, which I do not often get a chance to reflect upon consciously. Given time (and consistency, which is what I'm hoping the blog will motivate), I know that they will grow longer and more memorable... probably no more interesting, but at least having more content.
You can get a broad picture of the kind of guy I am by my profile. Hopefully, it's quite anonymous. :) I'll try to explain imagery that makes sense to me, but probably won't make sense to you. I think it is healthy to take an interest in your dreams. It is always healthy to take a step back from your conscious reality and think about the bigger picture... or just let your subconscious do that for you. I'll admit it. I can sometimes be lazy. :P
Well, I hope someone actually reads this and gains something from it. Even if they don't, at least I'll have a dream journal again, and I'm sure as hell not doing this for YOUR benefit. If you happen to enjoy my crazy brain, feel free to let me know. If not, fuck off and go read someone else's blog on boring reality. Truthfully, I'd rather read boring fantasy than boring reality.
You can get a broad picture of the kind of guy I am by my profile. Hopefully, it's quite anonymous. :) I'll try to explain imagery that makes sense to me, but probably won't make sense to you. I think it is healthy to take an interest in your dreams. It is always healthy to take a step back from your conscious reality and think about the bigger picture... or just let your subconscious do that for you. I'll admit it. I can sometimes be lazy. :P
Well, I hope someone actually reads this and gains something from it. Even if they don't, at least I'll have a dream journal again, and I'm sure as hell not doing this for YOUR benefit. If you happen to enjoy my crazy brain, feel free to let me know. If not, fuck off and go read someone else's blog on boring reality. Truthfully, I'd rather read boring fantasy than boring reality.
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